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captaincatwoman:

disneygirlwithablog:

Let’s just take a moment to appreciate that Amy Adams had to hold a live fish in her mouth. A LIVE FREAKING FISH

Let’s talk about the fact that the receptionist is Jodie Benson, the voice of Ariel.

My cage has many rooms
Dam - ask and dark.
Nothing there sings
Not even my lark.

Larks never will you know
When they’re captive

I don’t want to adapt
Set me Free

julialost:

they keep asking but the anwser quite simple actually

niaflawlessfrazier:

FINALLY THEY ADDRESSED NIA’S CONSTANT EXCLUSION FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS. The Lawd has granted the viewers with something I’ve felt for years!

fuckyeahthespianpeacock:

saltheria:

yeffyaboyuice:

mythchief:

So there I was, ready to take a shower. I mean, I was dirty, a little greasy, a shower was not such a horrible idea. People take showers, amiright? Of course!
I get naked.
FULL naked.
REAL naked.
I’m talking the exact opposite reason why you ever went to your grandmother’s house.
No cookies. Blatant nudity.
That’s how folks take showers these days, right? Well, I pull back the curtain…
And there it was.
This…thing…sitting on the little soap/shower/pube shelf. Not a care in the world, like it’s been there for years. “What the fuck is that?” I think to myself.
Now, what follows is the exact pattern of thought that took me from rational human being to Sloth in 3.4 seconds.
“Is that a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit? Holy fuck that’s a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit. OMG why would someone leave that unattended. Those things are so delicious. I’m gonna eat the fuck out of it. Man, I can’t wait to see whoever left it’s face when they come back to find that someone ate their cheesy biscuit’s fuck. Ohhh boy.”
Then my brain sent a message to my arm that said, “Reach for that cheesy biscuit, bitch. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?”
As you must already know, we are all contractually bound to make a dickload of mistakes throughout our lifetime. Some of those mistakes are so big that they forever hinder our world and warrant entire chapters in our children’s history books. However, most mistakes have the dubious providence of merely haunting one’s soul and festering amidst the subconscious for always and eternity.
This was, nearly, one of those.
If my adjacency to failure could be measured, the only possible unit of measurement to appropriate it would be “baby condoms”. And no, I do not mean those horrendous papoose-like titty-cribs that the slovenly carriage their spawn around in in Wal-Mart, I mean condoms that a baby would wear.
My adjacency to failure was roughly 1 and a half Kiddie Trojans.
I’m not sure what stopped me, be it cosmic or supernatural, but it gave my brain just enough time to ask itself some rather important questions regarding this little tub treasure. Questions like:
“WHO, THE FUCK, WOULD LEAVE A CHEESY BISCUIT IN MY SHOWER?!”
And inquiries such as:
“AND WHY WERE YOU GOING TO EAT IT, MORON?!”
Seriously, was I so hungry that I would wantonly disobey all the integral conditioning and survival imprinting my parents bestowed upon me like the ever important, “Um, don’t eat that biscuit, you don’t know where it’s been or whose it is and also you found it in the shower.” in order to satisfy something so benign as a munchie?
That, I’m sorry to say, was pretty much my reality.
An early morning introspective psychological evaluation of a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap.

OMG ITS BACK

This shit needs to be published.

This is going in the monologue section and I’m not even sorry.

fuckyeahthespianpeacock:

saltheria:

yeffyaboyuice:

mythchief:

So there I was, ready to take a shower. I mean, I was dirty, a little greasy, a shower was not such a horrible idea. People take showers, amiright? Of course!

I get naked.

FULL naked.

REAL naked.

I’m talking the exact opposite reason why you ever went to your grandmother’s house.

No cookies. Blatant nudity.

That’s how folks take showers these days, right? Well, I pull back the curtain…

And there it was.

This…thing…sitting on the little soap/shower/pube shelf. Not a care in the world, like it’s been there for years. “What the fuck is that?” I think to myself.

Now, what follows is the exact pattern of thought that took me from rational human being to Sloth in 3.4 seconds.

“Is that a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit? Holy fuck that’s a Red Lobster cheesy biscuit. OMG why would someone leave that unattended. Those things are so delicious. I’m gonna eat the fuck out of it. Man, I can’t wait to see whoever left it’s face when they come back to find that someone ate their cheesy biscuit’s fuck. Ohhh boy.”

Then my brain sent a message to my arm that said, “Reach for that cheesy biscuit, bitch. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?”

As you must already know, we are all contractually bound to make a dickload of mistakes throughout our lifetime. Some of those mistakes are so big that they forever hinder our world and warrant entire chapters in our children’s history books. However, most mistakes have the dubious providence of merely haunting one’s soul and festering amidst the subconscious for always and eternity.

This was, nearly, one of those.

If my adjacency to failure could be measured, the only possible unit of measurement to appropriate it would be “baby condoms”. And no, I do not mean those horrendous papoose-like titty-cribs that the slovenly carriage their spawn around in in Wal-Mart, I mean condoms that a baby would wear.

My adjacency to failure was roughly 1 and a half Kiddie Trojans.

I’m not sure what stopped me, be it cosmic or supernatural, but it gave my brain just enough time to ask itself some rather important questions regarding this little tub treasure. Questions like:

“WHO, THE FUCK, WOULD LEAVE A CHEESY BISCUIT IN MY SHOWER?!”

And inquiries such as:

“AND WHY WERE YOU GOING TO EAT IT, MORON?!”

Seriously, was I so hungry that I would wantonly disobey all the integral conditioning and survival imprinting my parents bestowed upon me like the ever important, “Um, don’t eat that biscuit, you don’t know where it’s been or whose it is and also you found it in the shower.” in order to satisfy something so benign as a munchie?

That, I’m sorry to say, was pretty much my reality.

An early morning introspective psychological evaluation of a sad, hungry, naked man who almost ate a bar of soap.

OMG ITS BACK

This shit needs to be published.

This is going in the monologue section and I’m not even sorry.

jerkidiot:

I’m giving away a $10 Amazon gift card! Once a week, every Sunday, I will be giving away a $10-$50 gift card, either Amazon, iTunes, or Paypal, to say thank you to my followers! 
Rules:
MBF me (jerkidiot)
Must reblog this post
Winner will be chosen randomly on Friday, April 11th!
Winner will get:
The $10 Amazon gift card (the code, through ask box)
5 free promos (to ~70k) whenever!
That’s it! Also, if you could please check out FeaturePoints, an app that gives you points for downloading apps (to cash in for prizes) that would be awesome!! It’s how I can afford to give something away constantly, and it benefits everyone! Thank you, and good luck!

jerkidiot:

I’m giving away a $10 Amazon gift card! Once a week, every Sunday, I will be giving away a $10-$50 gift card, either Amazon, iTunes, or Paypal, to say thank you to my followers! 

Rules:

  • MBF me (jerkidiot)
  • Must reblog this post
  • Winner will be chosen randomly on Friday, April 11th!

Winner will get:

  • The $10 Amazon gift card (the code, through ask box)
  • 5 free promos (to ~70k) whenever!

That’s it! Also, if you could please check out FeaturePoints, an app that gives you points for downloading apps (to cash in for prizes) that would be awesome!! It’s how I can afford to give something away constantly, and it benefits everyone! Thank you, and good luck!

boybandobbssed:

menchitah:

braydaaan:

busiest:

fitandflat:

.She Shocked The world! 23 lbs in just 3 weeks with this simple 2 step method http://heaIth.co/bcz038 

this is amazing!

I should probably try this

THIS. THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR.

I NEED

boybandobbssed:

menchitah:

braydaaan:

busiest:

fitandflat:

.She Shocked The world! 23 lbs in just 3 weeks with this simple 2 step method http://heaIth.co/bcz038 

this is amazing!

I should probably try this

THIS. THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR.

I NEED

johnlocklives:

"Wonder what’s in the bags?"

johnlocklives:

"Wonder what’s in the bags?"

Let It Go

xxspiritkeeperxx:

magelulu:

so apparently two slightly different versions of let it go were made for the movie this is the version they decided not to use [x]

I WAS EXPECTING A RICK ROL LAND I T HINK I JSUT HAD A HEART ATTACK

I CAN’ BREAT HE HELP ME